Saying Goodbye to our Deliah (Baby D)

The past few weeks have been hard for us. The day before Thanksgiving—a time of celebration and gratitude—Terri and I found ourselves sitting in an emergency veterinary clinic saying a sudden and unexpected goodbye to our feline matriarch, Delilah.

Terri and I are still at loss as to what really happened to bring us to an unwanted moment. Delilah —Baby D (as we called her)—was a 14-year-old dilute torti that we had known nearly all of her life and most of our marriage. I had held her in the palm of my hand when she weighed only 3/4 of a pound. She was extremely tiny, but full of tortitude. Love came on her terms and thankfully Baby D loved us both well.

She had put on quite a bit of weight when our OBO had to eat special food due to his hyperthyroidism. Suddenly, our little Delilah wasn’t so little any more. OBO (Oscar) passed in 2016, but her weight stayed. Fortunately, the Lord had provided us quite the animal menagerie to ease the loss of OBO on Delilah (Baby D).

There was Danny—our adopted senior blue healer mix— who joined our family in 2013.. And Cali and her trio Rice, Boss, and Tabitha.

Yes, Terri and I love animals—especially rescues.

It’s hard for us to see any of God’s creation in the world alone.

[I believe we will see all of our furry friends in Heaven. After all, God created them like He created everything and everyone else. Why wouldn’t there be animals in Heaven? It would be weird to me if there weren’t.]

Terri and I sat in a private room as we inexplicably found ourselves having to say goodbye to our beloved Baby D. Heartbreak loomed over us as I held Delilah in my arms all the way through her final breath.

I haven’t really found the words to say or emotions to feel. Truthfully, I’ve been a bit numb. I’ve had animals—pets—all my life. Loving them and losing them is nothing new for me. After all, you don’t grow to be 58 without experiencing loss or death But losing Delilah so suddenly and unexpectedly has been hard.

A few months earlier, we noticed that Delilah had begun losing weight. At first, we were glad for her. Then, we realized something wasn’t quite right. She had quit eating. And before we could do anything to stop it, things rapidly spiraled out of our control. Blood tests revealed an issue with Baby D’s liver and vets discovered a spot on her lungs.

By now, if you follow my blog, you will have noticed that I haven’t felt like writing much this past month. I just haven’t found the words to share. I haven’t been able to land on anything I wanted to say. It’s just been painful and difficult to get through these past few weeks feeling disconnected and dejected.

We’ve had to go about our day and tend to our sea of responsibilities, finding time to grieve in between the moments, all amid the holiday season. Honestly, my holiday spirit has been lacking. I’m just really not in the mood for all the festivities.

I haven’t wanted to leave the house much less write. Yet, I’ve managed to get dressed and go to work. How?—I’m not quite sure, other than sheerly by the grace of God.

Our Delilah is gone. We weren’t ready to say goodbye. Yet—here we are—in the midst of a moment we weren’t ready for just quite yet.

We only hope we loved her as well as she loved us.

Grieving,

Rainer B

The Devotional Guy™