Letting Go and Letting God—Being Water

Releasing and letting go is probably one of the hardest life lessons I’ve had to learn. It’s something I continually wrestle with, whether it’s in my personal life, my creative pursuits, ministry work, or navigating the complexities of my job. I tend to hold on tightly to things, almost with a Kung Fu death grip, trying to make sense of them and solve them through sheer willpower. But time and time again, Terri has gently reminded me that sometimes, I need to just let go and let God take the reins.

Do you relate to this struggle?

There’s a natural resistance we feel toward surrender, especially if you’re like me—a realist who’s used to problem-solving and facing things head-on. I’m not much for wishful thinking; it usually leads to wistful regret. I take comfort in control, in the sense that if I just push a little harder or think a little clearer, I can fix or understand whatever challenge is in front of me. As I’ve grown older, I am confident that some things in life aren’t meant to be fully understood, only experienced, processed, and released.

I think about today. I think about tomorrow. But I don’t give much thought to yesterday.

Rip Wheeler, Yellowstone

For me, books have always been a refuge and served as a guide. Mom made sure I was a reader early on. Every summer, while school was out, she had a reading list ready for me. Books offer a mental escape especially during times when I’m grappling with letting go. This momentary lapse from reality allows me to find enough headspace to come at things anew, with a different perspective. Binging on new series, like Terri and I often do, serves a similar purpose. It frees us from our thinking long enough to actually have fresh thoughts.

It’s not unusual for me to have multiple books open at once, each providing a different lens through which to view my experiences. Right now, one of the books I’m reading is Be Water, My Friend by Shannon Lee, where she shares the teachings of her father, Bruce Lee. I’ve been a Bruce Lee fan since I was a kid, fascinated not only by his skill in martial arts but also by his approach to life. Bruce Lee was deeply philosophical, and his approach to self-discipline, adaptation, and “being like water” is a profound reminder of what letting go and letting God looks like in practice.

As a Christian, following Christ’s teachings, I realize that a post exploring East Asian philosophy may seem antithetical to you. Bear with me.

The concept of “being like water” is about staying adaptable and open, about not forcing things but instead allowing life to flow and shape itself naturally. Water is soft and yielding, yet it has the power to shape mountains and carve canyons. This idea resonates deeply with me because it reflects something I’ve observed in my ministry work, especially with those facing hardship and homelessness. There’s a certain resilience that comes not from fighting every battle head-on but from bending, yielding, and allowing oneself to be transformed through trials.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts: grief is weird. And in some way, shape, or form, letting go—whether by relinquishment or through resignation—can feel like loss. This is why I think being like water becomes meaningful.

Letting go doesn’t mean abandoning responsibility or giving up on meaningful goals. Rather, it’s about loosening our grip on things that aren’t within our control and trusting that God is working behind the scenes. In my own life, I’ve found that the more I lean into this mindset, the more peace I feel. Instead of wrestling with every unanswered question or unresolved issue—or thing I don’t like—I can allow space for grace, trusting that in time, things will make sense in ways I could never have orchestrated.

The struggle through the grief was a huge growing process for me. There were gifts that came from it. I learned a lot about myself. I got into a mode very much like my father’s own mode of seeking – seeking solutions, seeking teachers, seeking information – to try to alleviate my own suffering.

Shannon Lee

Learning to let go is a slow process. It requires daily reminders, prayer, and sometimes a gentle nudge from someone close to remind us that we don’t have to have it all figured out. Letting go and letting God is about acknowledging our limitations and releasing ourselves from the pressure to control outcomes. We’re invited to show up, to do our part—be present—while ultimately trusting in a greater wisdom to guide our steps.

This is humbling, but in the best way.

As I attempt to age graciously, I am recognizing that I don’t have to have all the answers, and honestly, I’m growing to be okay with that. I’m not the answer to all of people’s questions either—especially at work. I am slowly beginning to grasp the wisdom that my journey of letting go is part of the beauty of life and faith. It’s a reminder that we’re not alone in our struggles, and that the best things often come when we finally step back and allow life—and God—to move in their own time and way.

Friend—what does aging with a purpose look like in your life?

Until my next post—

Grace and peace,

Rainer Bantau —The Devotional Guy™

#JesusStrong