Connecting the Beats of My Mental Wellbeing

“Look for some music recs to enjoy. Praying for you,” a friend and coworker encouraged.

“Maybe you should play more piano,” Terri suggested. “You don’t play as much as you did once.”

All true. All good.

Sitting on our patio, sipping coffee, listening to Red Clay Strays Live at the Ryman. Their song Drowning is wailing over my JBL Bluetooth speaker.

Seems appropriate.

Once upon a time, music served as the focal point of my life. People who know me will tell you my musical tastes are extremely eclectic. Music has always served my soul well. It’s done me good, in other words.

I used to include a song at the end of my posts until I read that this actually causes the algorithm to reject my posts and reduce traffic. Ain’t that some s**t? Have you heard of something like that? I probably need to do some more research because sharing music is something I love to do.

I’ve also read that music is a healthy salve for your mental wellbeing. Makes sense. Somehow, I’ve gotten distanced from what was once my greatest love in life. How on Earth did I get here?

Emotional Regulation

Music helps people process and express emotions that they find difficult to verbalize. Calming music reduces anxiety, lowers cortisol levels, and regulates the autonomic nervous system, decreasing symptoms like hypervigilance. If you suffer from PTSD (or know someone who does), you know this is a good thing. Music helps us focus our racing mind on something else.

Grounding and Mindfulness

There is a sense of predictability that comes with the rhythms and structure music contains. I find this comforting. It’s helpful in grounding us when things are screaming out of control. Music calms our soul.

Neurobiological Benefits

You don’t have to be a musical expert to recognize that music activates areas of your brain that make you feel good. Music influences our emotions, helps our memory, and state of being. Listening to music helps our brain reprocess traumatic memories in a controlled environment. Music helps us heal.

Social Connection

Music has served as common ground in building the foundations of lifelong friendships. Many people in my life connected with me through music. Group music therapy has been shown to reduce isolation, foster trust, and encourage social engagement, all of which can be impaired by PTSD or complex grief. Music lifts our spirits.

And whenever the harmful spirit from God was upon Saul, David took the lyre and played it with his hand. So Saul was refreshed and was well, and the harmful spirit departed from him.

1 Samuel 16:23 ESV

I’ve seen this firsthand through watching Terri grieve the loss of her sister, Sheri. Listening to the 70s music that they grew up on is helping Terri process the traumatic loss of her older sister. That’s a good thing.

As for me? Well, it turns out a lifetime of unresolved trauma finally reached its breaking point. Perhaps, the death of my sister-in-law was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I tend to think back to a young lady who was a a frequent guest at our homeless outreach. One Saturday this past summer, she came up to the counter where I was standing and said, “Thank you. You’ve always been kind to me.” She walked out the door, exiting our building. A few days later, someone found her lying in a nearby field, the gun she shot herself with still by her side. Apparently, her battle with addiction had just become too much of a load for her to carry. Write a song for that.

I don’t know how I got here, exactly, but here is where I am.

My father-in-law, Gary, patiently asked me if I had something to keep me busy. I had to tell him that the point was not to. My therapist encourages me just to be, not to strive, to fix, or to do more than I need to do. Terri encouraged me not to fill my calendar with courses and classes and stuff like I am prone to do.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart…

Ephesians 5:18-19 ESV

Just breathe.

Easier said than done, I’m afraid. I have no idea how this will turn out or where it will lead. We are trusting God to show us and give us direction as we (Terri and I) take things one day at a time. If you’ve spent any time in recovery, you understand what that means. Terri has been my life partner for nearly 25 years. I’ve almost been clean and sober for 30 years. Her concern for my sobriety doesn’t land empty, even on my deaf ears. It’s a scary place to be, truthfully.

There was a time in my life I would have been ecstatic to be a music journalist for Rolling Stone or an MTV veejay (I auditioned back in the 80s). I’ve had lots of dreams in my life that didn’t get far. Music was central to many, if not all, of them.

Jesus saved my soul. Will music save my sanity?

As I am working through PTSD and complex grief issues exasperated by persistent disruptive events, I think I will make it a point to 1) listen to some tunes and 2) play some music on the piano myself. I get that this is no joke, but I don’t want to make it too serious either. I trust the Lord will see me through this temporary trial and unexpected storm. Good things will come from it. No doubt.

Until my next post… enjoy some music!

Grace and peace,

Rainer Bantau —The Devotional Guy™

The Stigma Stops Here.🛑

#mentalhealthmatters