Some Change Takes Longer Than We Hoped

As believers, many of us discover that following Christ does not instantly erase every unhealthy habit, wound, or stubborn desire. All our hurts, habits, and hang-ups simply don’t disappear overnight. We experience struggles that seem to loosen their grip quickly while others linger. The ones that tend to hang around resurface when we’re tired, stressed, lonely, or discouraged. Our souls are hang-ry for holiness, but our flesh remains weak.

This can be extremely frustrating and even disheartening. Uncertainty creeps in and we begin to wonder if we’re falling away, if we’re praying hard enough, or if God is disappointed with us.

Spiritual growth is less like flipping a switch and more like tending a garden. Transformation happens over time. The good news is that God does not leave us to struggle alone. In His wisdom and foresight, the Lord has given us a helper in the Holy Spirit. Throughout Christian history, believers have practiced spiritual disciplines that create space for the Holy Spirit to reshape their hearts and desires.

To be clear, these disciplines do not earn God’s favor. They do not make Him love us more. Rather, they position us to receive the grace He has already eagerly bestowed upon us through our faith in Christ.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭8‬-‭10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Renew Our Mind

Many persistent desires are rooted in old stories we tell ourselves over and over again. They are on repeat, cycling not only through our mind, but our heart and soul as well. These are the stories about our identity, our worth, our comfort, and our security. We tell ourselves we are not enough. Yet, we worship a God who says we are and demonstrated it to us when He gave His son, Jesus, as an atoning sacrifice on our behalf so that we would not perish but have eternal life. He did so knowing we were still sinners. We came to the Cross flawed, but God received us in His arms anyway. God says we are enough.

We believe, “I need this habit to cope with stress,” or “I will never change,” or “This is just who I am.” Scripture invites us to challenge our assumptions.

In Romans, the Apostle Paul writes, “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” (Romans 12:2).

When a particular struggle surfaces, we should ask ourselves: What belief is fueling this desire?

Once we identify it, we then open our Bibles to find a biblical truth that speaks directly to it.

If anxiety tells us that we are alone, remind ourselves that Christ is always present. If shame tells us that we are defined by our failures, remember that we are beloved children of God.

Over time, truth begins to replace the falsehoods that once shaped our thinking and our desires.

Rest in God’s Presence

For far too many of us, prayer is transactional rather than relational. We approach prayer primarily with a list of requests, if not outright demands.While there is certainly room for that, prayer is so much more than pulling the lever of slot machine hoping every pull releases blessings. Contemplative prayer invites us to simply be with God and to listen more than we speak, enjoying our time in His presence.

In a world full of noise, silence feels uncomfortable. Yet, it is often in silence that God gently reshapes our hearts.

So my friend, I challenge you to set aside five or ten minutes and find a quiet place. Choose a simple word such as “Jesus,” “Grace,” or “Peace.”

As thoughts wander, and naturally, they will, gently refocus your attention to that word and to the presence of God.

You are not trying to achieve anything. You are just learning to abide.

Over time, the soul begins to discover that what it truly longs for is not another distraction or comfort, but God Himself.

Look Back with Grace

Before you rush off and go to sleep, I encourage you to take a few moments to review your day with God.

This is an ancient practice, known as the Prayer of Examen, that helps us recognize where grace has been at work throughout our day. Ask yourself:

Where did I experience God’s presence today?

When did I feel most alive spiritually?

Where did I struggle?

What desire or temptation felt especially strong?

The goal here is awareness, not self-condemnation.

God knows where we succeeded and where we fell short. It’s no surprise to Him. He doesn’t kick us out of the Family of God. Instead, the practice of Examen helps bring those moments into the light, where the Lord can meet us with unimaginable grace.

Instead of beating yourself up over flops and failures, ask God what He wants to teach you through them.

Holy Subtraction

Sometimes a stubborn desire maintains its power because we continually feed it. This is where fasting becomes valuable.

While in Biblical times, fasting focused almost solely on abstaining from food, in our modern culture, fasting is not merely about giving up food. It encompasses temporarily setting aside something that comforts, distracts, or occupies us so we can rediscover our dependence on God. Maybe it’s forgoing doomscrolling on social media. Perhaps, it is ceasing endless news consumption 24/7/365. It could be giving up entertainment, shopping, or another habit that fills space in our life. We do it for a period of time. We don’t do it for show. We do it to grow.

Whatever you set aside, replace it with something life-giving like reading Scripture, taking a prayer walk through your neighborhood, or just sitting quietly with God.

Our spiritual goal is to recognize our dependence upon the Lord.

Every fast serves as a reminder that our deepest hunger is only satisfied by God.

A Final Thought

If you find yourself discouraged because change is taking longer than you expected, remember this: God is long-suffering.

He is not surprised by your struggle. He is not rushing you through the process. He is faithfully at work, even when progress seems slow.

It’s not a question of whether you are changing fast enough, but whether you are continuing to place yourself in the path of God’s transforming grace.

Growth is gradual, grace is relentless.

And the God who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.

So let me ask you, which spiritual discipline do you sense God inviting you to practice this week, and how might it create space for Him to reshape a stubborn desire in your life?

Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.

Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming

Until my next post…

Be salty, stay lit.

Rainer Bantau —The Devotional Guy™

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