Sitting in the Morning Silence

I find myself awake far too early. But, it’s one of those mornings where it doesn’t matter what time the alarm clock says—laying in bed, pretending to be asleep doesn’t help.

Now I’m sitting here, in the dark, surrounded by silence. Our orange tabby, Boss, sits next to me, resting on the arm of our old couch. My earbuds are in as I listen to Patti Griffin sing “We shall all be reunited…” It’s off her 2009 record Downtown Church. If you’re unfamiliar with her work, I encourage you to give her a listen. Her songs have been recorded by the likes of Willie Nelson, the Dixie Chicks, Bette Midler, Emmylou Harris, Shawn Colvin, Miranda Lambert, Solomon Burke, and the Wreckers (source: Spotify).

Today really marks the first day I’m officially out of work—or at least done with my former organization, the Dallas homeless outreach, OurCalling. I had my exit interview Friday, offsite, at a coffee shop that I’ll likely never visit again.

“Hard feelings?”, someone asked me recently. “Some,” I replied.

Rest in God alone, my soul,
for my hope comes from Him.

Psalm 62:5 HCSB

I’ve been going to therapy every week for three years. “They” were the reason I started going. But, I’m glad. Therapy has proven to be helpful. I learned to advocate for myself, something I’d forgotten how to do along the way.

“One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless.” Richard Foster

This week’s Lenten exercise is to practice silence. I am taking part in the Soul Care Collective’s Lent 2025: Clearing the Path cohort as part of my healing and recovery program.

Richard Foster, renowned founder of the Renovaré Institute and author of the classic spiritual formation book Celebration of Discipline, observed “Silence creates in us an open, empty space where we are enabled to become attentive to God.”

Part of advocating for myself, I am reminded, is recognizing that to continue on with OurCalling was simply not in the best interest of my personal health and wellbeing. It’s a great organization. It simply became a place no longer good for me.

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Sunday Prayer | A Prayer for the Unemployed

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I’m hopeful, as I rest in the silence, even though “what’s next” is a question marked with uncertainty. I don’t claim to know. Terri and I are both trusting that God knows. Trust in the Lord…

I’m doing what’s in front of me today, walking through the doors that are open, not chasing anyone or anything that wants nothing to do with me. Lord, help me invest in the things that matter and the people who demonstrate they care, not only about themselves, but me, too.

It’s all part of getting fully healthy holistically—mind, body, soul.

And the journey has just begun…

Thanks for reading, my friend. Until my next post…

Be salty, stay lit.

Rainer Bantau —The Devotional Guy™

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