My Monday Cup | Getting Better at Being

The young weatherman cautioned, “You should not be outside when there’s lightning.” Wise words, young man. Wise words.

The weather here has been pretty wet and stormy. That’s May in North Texas. Supercells abound!

Thankfully, God walks with us during life’s storms.

After enduring a series of personal storms late last year and determining that what I was experiencing was not sustainable for my longevity nor good for my legacy, I tapped out to focus on my wellbeing. My vessel was empty. I had no more go left in my tank mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

When someone you hold in high regard disrespects you, it stings. That turned out to be the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. I found myself doing everything in my power that I could, but discovered I no longer had the trust or respect of those in positions above me. Understanding that this was not some fantasy, or my imagination playing tricks on me, took a minute.

Deciding to step away from everything did not come easy. I took a leave of absence first to determine if I could continue. I spent significant time with the Lord in conversation and prayer. Naturally, I could not do any of this without the steadfast encouragement and loving support of my wife, Terri. She had grown very concerned for my mental health and sobriety (I’ve been in recovery for nearly thirty years). That’s saying a lot.

I’ve learned that God doesn’t love us any less when we struggle. He walks with us, not away from us.

For some of you reading, this is old news. You want to know how it’s going. Am I making progress?

Yes. I sense I’m making progress. I’m better at practicing being than I was several weeks ago. My goals focus on faith, family, and fitness.

Faith. Family. Fitness.

I’ve noticed little changes. Small, but not insignificant. Everything isn’t urgent anymore. I don’t rush to check my texts or read my emails. This is a major change. I am more mindful of my eating. I am exercising—indeed—I am working out. In addition to walking about 5-7 miles a day, Terri and I are hitting the gym together twice a week. I’m looking to incorporate more gym workouts and other forms of exercise. Fitness is my focus.

Terri and I are able to be more intentional about family particularly our aging parents. Since her sister’s death at the end of last August, Terri and I have devoted Sunday mornings to spending time with her folks. We have breakfast with them every Sunday morning and have taken a more active and intentional role in their lives. The same is true for my Mom. I take Mom to her eye doctor’s appointment every 2 months—that involves driving from here to her house and then to Rockwall and back. It has allowed me to carve out regular times with her and opened up deeper conversations. She and I are doing an art show together in June.

Our house is getting some attention, too. We’ve replaced our sewer pipes and are able to get little things done that have been on our To-Do list for a minute. I’ve undertaking the daunting task of decluttering and purging things we don’t need. Decluttering is taking time. It’s slow and tedious. But, as Terri has pointed out, it’s also healing.

Spiritually, I engaged in a couple of different classes including an ongoing participation in SoulCare. This has given me opportunities to spend time in specific Scriptures, lean on others, and get healthy.

In this healing journey, gratitude is a powerful outcome. While I’ve never considered myself ungrateful, I realize that I started seeing the glass half empty and that stress was robbing me of my joy and thankfulness. Nowadays, I remind myself how much I have to be grateful for in my life. It’s a sweet turn of events.

There’s more I can probably share, but for now, this will need to do. Thanks for reading my post. Feel free to leave a comment below.

Praying you live well and love well.

Until my next post…

Be salty, stay lit.

Rainer Bantau —The Devotional Guy™

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The Stigma Stops Here.🛑

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