3 Ingredients for Creating a Healthy Recipe of Second Chances

Having had my own battles with addiction I get that sometimes we all just need someone to believe in us and give us a chance. Not that anyone has any reason to help us or find us trustworthy. We’ve spent the better part of our lifetime destroying any ounce of trust people had in us. People who love us don’t want to give up hope, but we can’t blame them for walking away. Lord knows we’ve let a ton of people down, especially ourselves.

Through my recovery, God has blessed me with people willing to give me second chances as well as the opportunity to give others a second chance.

Lamentations 3:21-23

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

What does a second chance involve?

A Heart of Forgiveness

To give someone a second chance requires willingness on our part to forgive them for whatever it is that they have done in the past. This is true even if their past did not involve us because what they did may go against our own principles and sense of right and wrong. We must look past who they were and be willing to see them for who they are and who they could be.

This is true for me. To get a second chance, I need others to forgive me and look past who I was and see me for who I am and who I can be. This is what God does. Once we confess we’ve messed up and ask for the Lord’s forgiveness, He doesn’t see us for who we were but looks at us for who we are and envisions who we can be. Who we are in God’s eyes far exceeds whatever expectations we might imagine for ourselves.

Matthew 18:21-22

“Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’”

A Momentary Suspension of Judgement

It’s hard to forgive if we sit in judgement of someone. We’ve got plenty of our own issues to be concerned about and if you’re like me you’ve made your own share of mistakes. This may sound easy, but it’s not. Recently, during a prayer session with some homeless guys, one individual asked me for prayer for forgiveness and restoration. As I typically do, I asked him for his story–what got him here? When he told me what he’d done, I had to suspend judgement in that moment. My job wasn’t to pass judgement. He’d done his time. He wasn’t asking me for approval. He was asking me to pray for him. So, I did, thanks be to God.

Matthew 7:3

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

A Kind and Gentle Spirit

You can not have a hard-hearted, mean spirit if you are going to a) give others a second chance or b) have others give you a fresh start. Forgiveness and second chances call for both parties to be kind and gentle in spirit. On the one hand, I must want to see others succeed and do well. On the other, I have to be humble and contrite, knowing that I don’t deserve another opportunity to dazzle people with my shortcomings and failures.

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Restoration is a two-way street that brings together two people, one willing to help the other and the other willing to receive help. It means showing someone how to fish, not just feeding them. It means doing your part, not just taking. If you don’t cook, you don’t eat.

We all need help sometimes. We all mess up. I know I do. Other times, we find ourselves in the position of being the helper. We may be the only Bible someone reads. What will you do?

#secondchances #whatwillyoudo #forgiveness