Tuesday’s Triggers

Terri’s phone makes a sound when she saves a screenshot.

Click. Wrrr. Chink.

It makes another sound when she sends a text.

Waa-loop.

While for most people these sounds are just background noise in a world full of notifications, I notice them. In fact, my whole body hears them. Terri and I’ve talked about this strange phenomenon. She’s suggested I talk to my therapist about it.

The camera-click means she’s saving something, often to point out a typo or a poorly worded phrase in my blog post. When I hear waa-loop, I know a text is on its way. If it’s not for me, Terri has started saying, “It’s not for you.” Yet, I check my phone anyway.

My wife is one of my greatest editors and my biggest supporter. I genuinely appreciate her keen eye for detail and for words. Somewhere along the way, these little sounds her phone makes got connected in my mind and caused my body to react intensely and internally.

The sounds, albeit they are just sounds, trigger something. There is the uncomfortable feeling that I missed something.

The other day, I began reading a book about a doctor who prescribed cats to his patients. As I started reading, I experienced another trigger that surprised me. To be clear, I love cats. Terri and I have our own kindle of cats that we love and who love on us. All the various reading sites highly recommended the book.

But after a few pages, I noticed my body tense up. Before I knew it, my body was reacting to what my mind was fearing. The whole fight, flight, freeze, fawn mechanism kicked in. The story stirred up emotions that I hadn’t come prepared to experience. Somehow, the words on the page touched wounds and experiences buried beneath the surface. It was unnerving and impacted my whole day.

The odd thing about triggers is that they often make little sense to anyone else. Like suddenly being hypersensitive to the smell of popcorn or routine sounds. Triggers can occur when we visit certain places or hear a song from long ago. And apparently, when reading a book about cats.

When something ordinary becomes attached to grief, fear, trauma, embarrassment, or loss, the connection triggers a response.

For people like me, who are walking through grief, PTSD, anxiety, or other emotional struggles, these triggers often appear unexpectedly. What are you supposed to do? Walk around on guard all day? What are people supposed to do? Quit eating popcorn?

These disruptions and disturbances remind us that healing isn’t a straight line from bad to better. If only it were that easy.

I’ve also learned that triggers aren’t necessarily my enemies. They serve as signals revealing there is healing that’s still needed. Some memories, no matter how long forgotten, aren’t fully settled.

For me, they are a reminder that God is still at work in places I would rather avoid. But, here I am. There’s no way to the other side except through.

Thankfully, Scripture tells us that the Lord is “near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). God is not surprised by our triggers. He is not irritated by our sensitivities. He is present within them. That’s Grace and Mercy in action.

I have found that acknowledging a trigger is healthier than pretending it doesn’t exist. Denial won’t bring healing. Honest awareness opens the door for God to meet us where we are, not where we pretend to be.

So, when a phone makes a familiar sound, or when an unexpected memory surfaces from a book, I pay attention. Not to do so results in delays. No one enjoys being triggered, but those moments reveal areas where God is still writing His story of restoration. And there’s good in that. Some triggers are obvious. Some stay hidden until they’re not.

I think they are an invitation to bring our hurts before the One who knows them completely and loves us anyway.

Do you have any triggers?

Until my next post…

Be salty, stay lit.

Rainer Bantau —The Devotional Guy™

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